Party Time in the City
by Ms QUICK
Summary: Santana, Sam, Puck and Rachel are living together in New York City with most of the other Gleeks. Shenanigans occur. Focused on Santana mainly. Couples: Puck/Rachel, on/off Sam/Santana. Warnings: language, lots of it. And some mentions of sexual situations. Connected one-shots using prompts from Texts From Last Night.
1. Chapter 1

**A series of random drabbles based around prompts taken from Texts From Last Night. I've wanted to write a story like this for a while, but I told myself to finish all my other stories first. This is mainly a funny story, but there will be relationship stuff in this :) Especially Puckleberry and Samtana, two of my favorite couples :D**

**Oh and this is completely non-canon, although I suppose it could be canon from before Rachel goes to NYADA, cuz there's none of that in this. Rachel, Mike, and Brittany go to Juilliard while the others go to NYU, although it'll become clearer as the story proceeds.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine.**

Bzzzt! Bzzzt! The vibration of her phone woke Santana up. Groggily, she groped around attempting to find the damn thing. Once her hand finally found the cold object, she grasped it and brought it up to her face. All of this without opening her eyes. She wearily opened her eyes, flinching at the bright sunlight.

She opened the text message, blinking her eyes to get used to the damn sun.

_I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? –Rach_

Santana groaned, trying to remember. There were flashes of…skinny-dipping? She had gone to the club the night before with Sam, but where was he? And how the fuck had she gotten back to the apartment?

She shook her head, clearing her brain, then immediately remembered that head shaking while hung over equaled a very bad idea. Grumbling, she got up and made her way to the shower. Looking down over her body, she noticed that she wasn't wearing pants. And her shirt looked like it belonged to a guy.

She decided to text Rachel back after realizing that the crazy midget was probably worrying.

_I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller. –San _

She turned on the hot water and slowly entered the shower. Once she finished, she finally got the courage to check the time. Eleven in the morning, not too bad.

_So, you planning on making it to class today? –Rach_

"Oh, fuck!" Santana swore. Suddenly she had the motivation to actually move fast. She threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, pulled her hair into a ponytail, and ran out of the apartment, cussing the whole time.

She managed to get to her classroom in NYU about five minutes before class started. She collapsed in her seat and slumped over on the next.

"Hey Santana! How's your day going?" a chirpy voice roused her from her misery. She raised her head a fraction and glared at the person, who looked abashed.

"Welcome class!" the professor boomed, making Santana wince, "Today, we are going to be watching a movie to study how American media has influenced other media!"

Suddenly the loud Bollywood movie music started, making Santana jump halfway out of her seat and reminding her just how hung over she was. She pulled out her phone to text her best friend.

_Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever—A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS –Santana_

_ Aw poor baby :( does little Sanny need a hug? –Trouty Mouth_

_ Shut up you little fucker. Where'd you disappear to last night anyways? –Santana_

_ I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on and adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins. –Trouty Mouth_

_ So where the hell did you wake up? –Santana_

_ On the floor of the living room. I was covered in glitter too, so I don't know how my adventure went. –Trouty Mouth_

_ HAHAHAHAHA! Somehow I managed to wake up in my own bed, no idea how. –Santana_

_ That would be because I carried you there you lazy ass! –Trouty Mouth_

_ Oh, well thank you Trouty Mouth, how gentlemanly. –Santana_

_ Shut up Satan, I can taste your sarcasm from here. And I'm halfway across campus. –Trouty Mouth_

_ Yeah, you have that one psych class with Puck right now. Don't you have that final project due? –Santana_

_ No, he just assigned it. For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Mike to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song – Trouty Mouth_

_ HAHAHAHAHA that's fucking perfect! Although, I'm not sure Tina would like it, but who cares? –Santana_

_ Shit, gotta put the phone away, damn professor's getting suspicious. The fucker has like this sixth sense for when people are texting in class. –Trouty Mouth_

_ Fine. Little fucker. Guess I'll find someone else to bother. See if I care. –Santana_

_ Love you too Santana! –Trouty Mouth_

Santana frowned. The stupid movie was still playing and she couldn't text Sam anymore. Or Puck, because he had the same class as Sam. Although, Puck was taking the class for fun, while Sam needed it for his major.

Oh well, she decided, nap time for Santana. And with that, she dropped off to sleep.

**That's Chapter 1! I hope you laughed :) I know I did while finding these prompts.**

**Prompts Used (I changed some of the names to make it work):**

**I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? (309)**

**Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever—A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS (306)**

**I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins. (+61)**

**For your final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song. (417)**

**Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And yes, this would be the next chapter after barely a couple hours. What can I say, this story is practically writing itself! This chapter has a little bit more plot than the other one, along with a lot more relationship! The relationship here is "Quartie" or Quinn/Artie, which I honestly think is a really cute idea even though it's barely even mentioned in canon. Oh well. This story does what it wants. Characters are OOC, very OOC.**

**Disclaimer: Tisn't mine.**

"What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have finals next week?" Santana asked, surprised to see Quinn at the bar where she was working.

"I do, but Puck called me, he said he needed me for something related to the club," Quinn said, "But while I'm here…"

"Yeah, yeah, a Long Island iced tea. Pansy-ass drink if you ask me," Santana grumbled.

"Shut up, we know how you feel about drinking," Quinn retorted, sticking her tongue out at her friend.

"Wow, real mature. Who could figure out that you're the manager of this fine establishment?" Santana fired back.

"Whatever, can I just have my drink?" Quinn answered.

"Sure," Santana said cheerily, "Sam! Make Quinn her usual!" she yelled down to her colleague, best friend, roommate and occasional boyfriend.

"Why don't you make it?!" he called back.

"Cuz I don't fucking feel like it, just make it or no sex for you!" Santana threatened Sam, who had walked to where the two girls were talking.

"You can't cut off sex, we aren't dating! Or are we?" Sam said, suddenly unsure of himself. If he had forgotten that he and Santana were dating, he was in for a meeting with the razor blades in her hair.

"No we aren't, I just wanted to fuck with you Trouty Mouth," Santana grinned.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Sam groaned.

"Yeah, say it a little louder," Santana leered at the blonde guy.

Quinn rolled her eyes at the two's antics, "Am I going to get my drink, or are you two going to have sex on the bar?"

"Haven't decided yet," Santana quipped, before pushing Sam to go make Quinn's drink. He brought it back and Quinn left to go upstairs to the business offices. Santana felt her phone buzz in her bra and she pulled it out.

_What was the meaning of your text the other day? -Quinn_

_Which one? –Santana_

_ Fwd: After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now" I come from her. Holy hell. –Santana: -Quinn_

_ Oh yeah, that. I had been dating this guy for about a week and my mom was in town and she insisted on meeting him so we went out to dinner and she said that. I typed it word for word. -Santana_

Santana laughed, remembering that conversation with her mom.

_So what happened to Tanner, because none of us have heard about him? And I thought we were best friends Sanny, why didn't you tell me? -Quinn_

_Oh calm your crazy Blondie, it was a short thing, he was from my business class and asked me out a couple times. We broke up because he was too clingy. He still calls me sometimes for a booty call, but I always say no or tell him to find another girl. -Santana_

_ Wait, why do you say no to the booty call? Doesn't sound like you. -Quinn_

_Cause I wants my sleep, duh. -Santana_

_You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. –Quinn_

_ That doesn't count, I'm like the only girl you know who even has regular booty calls. Everyone else is in a relationship. –Santana_

_ True. And I should probably stop texting and drinking before I walk into a wall. –Quinn_

_ That'd be a good idea Blondie, you already got one nose job, you don't need another one. –Santana_

_ Shut up Satan. I have to go and do actual work now. –Quinn_

_ "_Santana, stop texting! We have to work!" Sam told her firmly.

"Oh fine, I suppose I have to work. It's not like a lot of people are here anyways, it's only seven," Santana grumbled.

"Well, we have to at least look like we're working!" Sam told her, feeling like he was talking to a child.

"Whatever Sammy," Santana said, flipping her hair and putting on a beguiling smile, ready to welcome customers.

Upstairs, in the business offices, Quinn was meeting with Puck in his office.

"What now?"" Quinn asked, sitting down in the chair facing Puck's desk.

"We need to get more people here…" Puck groaned, "We're not making enough to make a really good profit"

"So have a special event or something," Quinn said, raising an eyebrow, "This is what you called me here for?"

"Yes and no, actually. Come with me," Puck said, getting up and pulling Quinn with him. He led her to the big conference room where they had employee meetings.

Turning to her he said, "You have to cover your eyes as we walk in, okay?"

Quinn nodded hesitantly and placed her hands over her eyes, trusting Puck to lead her.

"Open your eyes now," came the voice of her boyfriend. She opened her eyes to see Artie sitting in his wheelchair surrounded by rose petals. The room was dark with only a few candles burning. She gasped in shock and surprise.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, you are the love of my life. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?" Artie asked her, holding out a blue velvet box with Tiffany & Co. engraved on it.

"Yes! Oh my God, yes!" Quinn screamed, running towards where Artie was waiting. She fell to her knees in front of him and began kissing him thoroughly. She pulled away from him and said, "I love you"

"I love you too, Quinn, and before we start kissing again, which I'm absolutely okay with, do you want your ring?" Artie said, smiling at his now-fiancée.

"Are you even asking me that? Of course I want it!" Quinn said, smiling so wide her face hurt. He opened the ring box and gently took out the band. Then, he took her hand and gently slid the ring onto her finger, looking into her eyes the whole time. It was a white gold band with a small, princess-cut diamond on it with two emeralds that almost perfectly matched Quinn's eyes on both sides. It was elegant, yet simple.

"Now we can start kissing again," Artie leered. Quinn laughed, but then stood up quickly, sat down in his lap, and began kissing him again.

**And that would be the end of this chapter! I hope you laughed, or at least chuckled. The next chapter might take just a wee bit longer, only because I'm kinda sorta moving this weekend and my mom delegated all organizing to me. Oh well!**

**Prompts used:**

**After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now" I come from her. Holy hell. (404)**

**You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. (859)**

**Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3! YAY! This story has kinda become my baby, haha. I don't really have a specific amount of chapters planned BTW, I'm just going with the flow. This chapter has a lot of Sam/Santana flirting and a pinch of Puck/Rachel. I originally meant for this story to have an actual plot with a story line, but it turned into a something with a very small plot and it's just a series of connected oneshots. Whatevs.**

**Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine my lovelies.**

"Why are finals necessary?" Sam groaned. He and Puck were sitting at the table in the kitchen of their apartment, frantically cramming for their finals.

"Because professors enjoy causing pain?" Puck said, rubbing his eyes. They had been at this for what seemed like hours. It was actually about thirty minutes.

"Hello boys!" Rachel said happily, coming out of her bedroom, smiling. She was wearing a gray wool pea coat over black skinny jeans. Her hair was its usual arrangement, curls spilling everywhere. She had a big bag over her shoulder. Overall, she looked ready to go out. The very opposite of the guys, who were wearing old sweatpants and McKinley football shirts.

"Where you going, babe?" Puck asked, confused.

"I'm meeting up with Britt and Mike to practice for our dance final! I told you that this morning," Rachel explained, "Do either of you know where Santana is?"

"Nah, haven't heard from her," Puck was interrupted by a phone buzzing.

"Who's is that?" Sam questioned.

"Dammit, that's mine. If it's some fucker asking about a party, I will fucking kill the fucker," growled Puck. He had specifically told all of the club employees that he had to study.

"Oh wait, speak of the devil," he said, opening the text from Santana.

_I'm currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha. –Satan_

Puck started laughing, while Sam and Rachel exchanged questioning looks wondering who the text was from.

"I said speak of the devil, and it's Satan who texted," Puck gasped out between laughs.

"Well, what does it say?" Sam drawled, but he had started to grin at Puck's, admittedly bad, joke.

"Read it!" Puck said, handing Sam the phone. He quickly read it, then started laughing. Santana was incorrigible. He learned that word while studying.

"Oh my goodness, Santana!" Rachel said, reading the text over Sam's shoulder, "That girl!"

"Gimme the phone, I gotta text her back!" Puck said, grabbing at the phone, which Sam quickly handed to him.

"Well, I have to go practice, so bye boys!" Rachel said, leaning down to peck Puck on the lips. She left the apartment, closing the door behind her.

"What are you gonna say?" Sam asked Puck, who looked like he was thinking very hard.

"Hmm," Puck thought.

_You little fucker. You've managed to make little Sammy all mad. –Fuckerman_

"Hey! I'm not mad!" Sam said, now pissed at his friend.

"Mhm, tell that to someone who believes you. You've been ass over head for Satan and she's ass over head for you. Everyone fucking knows this," Puck retorted.

"SO? That doesn't fucking mean that you tell her that! We have a complicated relationship!" Sam defended himself.

Puck's phone vibrated again, interrupting the two.

_Tell him that we should give head other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning. –Satan_

"See?" Puck yelled, showing Sam the text, "She wants the D!"

"Again, so? We've always had a relationship like that!" Sam said.

The next day, the three of them were all taking their finals. Santana had History of Justice, Sam had Criminal Psychology and Puck had Advanced Economics.

Right before his final began, Sam felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He stealthily withdrew it from his pocket and saw the screen lit up with a text saying that it was from Santana.

_Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION? –Santana_

Sam covered his grin with his hand, pretending to yawn.

_You are way too vulgar to be a girl. –Trouty Mouth_

_PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. –Santana_

_How do you get all the good professors? –Trouty Mouth_

_The universe fucking loves me? No idea. –Santana_

_Oh, what's the plan for after we all finish? We're the last people to finish finals right? –Trouty Mouth_

_No, Rach, Britt and Other Asian have their dance final this afternoon. –Santana_

_Damn. Let's just fuck and watch Lord of the Rings all day. –Trouty Mouth_

_Really? That's your lame ass way of asking for a booty call? –Santana_

_Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of Lord of the rings and sex? –Trouty Mouth_

_Well, when you put it like that…I'm down. We're gonna be the only ones home anyways. –Santana_

_No one will hear how much of a screamer you are ;) –Trouty Mouth_

_Oh shut up asshat. I have to go now, time for this final to get rocked. –Santana _

Santana smiled to herself as she put her phone away. She knew that her and Sam had a really strange relationship. They dated, then broke up, then fucked and then dated and repeated that cycle pretty much endlessly. However, they were always best friends throughout. It was pretty amazing to have four people who would always have her back. She and Brittany had always been best friends, even after their relationship ended. She and Puck talked a lot while she was in Kentucky and he was in L.A. they bonded over being the two Gleeks without anyone really close by. Her friendship with Rachel was the most unusual of all, but she and Berry were "bitches-for-life" as Santana termed it. It didn't make sense and no one except for them knew how it started.

**And that's the end of Chapter 3 :( it's kinda ironic that I get more writing done in school than I do at home when I set aside time for writing :P**

**Prompts used:**

**I'm currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha (515)**

**We should give head other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning. (307)**

**Hey history final, how's if feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?(717) –you are way too vulgar to be a girl (410)**

**PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. (858)**

**Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of Lord of the rings and sex? (734)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I seem to have a trend of two chapters in one day, hmmm, and it's the day I have all my super boring classes...Oh well, as long as I keep posting huh? I really do hope that people like this story, as I honestly think this is my favorite story out of all of mine. And the lack of response is kind of worrisome, because I want to know if people actually laughed, or if they just read it, so please review :)**

**Disclaimer: I want Santana and Sam, but it's not gonna happen, because...I don't own Glee!**

"And that's that. We're all set up for tonight's big party," Puck said, collapsing on a chair in one of the conference rooms at the club. The rest of the group was in chairs around the table. And then Quinn was sitting in Artie's lap, a place she never seemed to leave after he proposed.

"New Year's Eve Party bitches!" Santana cheered, jumping up and down.

"Calm your shit, Satan, we still have a couple hours to go before the party," Sam shushed her.

"Noah, final checklist?" Rachel asked, just to make sure that they have everything.

"You and your two back up DJs?" Puck asked Artie.

"Check," Artie affirmed.

"Brit, Mike, you got your dancers all ready?"

"Check!" Mike said, high-fiving Brittany. They had gathered a bunch of their dance friends from Juilliard and they were going to do a performance, and then just be on the stage dancing to keep people pumped up.

"Satan, Trouty, you got all the stuff for the bar?" Puck asked the two.

"Yup, we've got enough drinks to last until 2015 and we have all of the staff on call to be ready," Sam answered.

"Rach, you got your songs and shit?" Puck turned to his girlfriend.

"Yes, and although admittedly out of my repertoire, I think that I will be able to do these songs justice. Santana has also agreed to do a duet with me. I think she was planning on coercing Sam into doing her job while she is performing with me. Quinn has also agreed to be my back-up singer since her responsibilities have already been fulfilled," Rachel said in her usual high-speed.

"Whoa, babe, slow your roll. I thought I got you to quit that shit a long time ago," Santana exclaimed. Rachel stopped, took a deep breath, and then smiled.

"Sorry guys, I guess I got a bit excited there," she apologized, "I have my, quote, songs and shit"

"Oh my God, Rachel Berry cussed!" Quinn teased. It was inevitable that Rachel picked up some bad language, what with Santana as her best friend and Puck as her boyfriend. However, everyone still teased her when she said a bad word.

"Oh shut up," Rachel groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"It's okay love, Auntie Tana'll cut the mean bitches," Santana said, putting her arms around Rachel.

"Okay, San, how many times do we have to tell you? Auntie Tana is not a threatening nickname!" Sam scolded.

"You're just jealous that you don't have a badass nickname," Santana argued.

"Oh yeah?" Sam retorted. The two started fighting, however no one batted an eye because it was pretty normal. They looked around at each other, and then Quinn heaved a sigh.

"Children!" she shouted, getting their attention, "There we go. I swear, dealing with you two makes me feel more like a mom than giving birth did!"

"Sorry Quinn," the two muttered, hanging their heads.

"Continuing with the important business," Puck jokingly glared at Sam and Santana, "Matt, your bouncers ready?" he asked the last person at the table.

"Yeah, we've got everyone ready to be here and they're all aware that people are gonna be crazy tonight," Matt answered.

"Okay, and then the last order of business, and this is gonna make me sound like a pansy no matter what, but everyone knows what their group is wearing? And we're sticking to the red and black color theme," Puck grumbled.

"Well, all the guy dancers are wearing black pants with a red tie and the girls are wearing black shorts and red sequined tops. Everyone is gonna be wearing red shoes," Brittany answered.

"Us bouncers are just wearing the usual badass suits," Matt said, earning some laughs.

"All the bartenders are wearing black pants, or shorts for the girls, and red shirts. Shoes are whatever because we have to be standing all the time," Santana replied.

"The DJs are wearing red pants and black shirts with red ties," Artie responded.

"Well, my dress is a surprise, but it does go with the theme. Same goes for Quinn," Rachel finished, smirking at Puck, "Santana helped us pick!"

"Be afraid bro," Sam whispered to Puck, "Very afraid"

"Oh, Puck, the bartenders are all working in shifts right?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, don't worry Lopez, you won't have to stay sober," Puck laughed.

"Oh please. The words "me" "sober" and "New Year's Eve" do not go together. Ever," Santana returned.

"Preach!" Artie exclaimed, making everyone laugh.

"Alright guys, we can all leave now, but remember to meet back here at six. The doors are opening at seven," Puck said, finishing the meeting. Everyone got up to scatter. Puck, Sam, Santana and Rachel were going back to their apartment and Quinn and Brittany were coming over to get ready.

**And that's the end of this chapter, and I'm already midway through the next chapter. Again, please review and tell me what you think about it! But if you're going to say it's not good, then at least tell me how I can make it better :)**

**Prompts used:**

**The words "me" "sober" and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever. (951)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5! Yay! This one was fun to write! Sorry, it's taken a while, but in my defense, I've had a very crazy week (by that I mean busy) and this chapter just didn't get finished :( and OMG THE GLEE EPISODE THIS WEEK! SANTANA IS IN NEW YORK! Excuse me while I scream delightedly. Anyways, I kinda loved it. Except for Rachel being a bitch, but oh well. Diva.**

**Disclaimer: If it was mine, the couples in this would be canon. Are they?**

Her first reaction was shock. And then there was bewilderment. After wondering for a while, then being distracted by the clothes that seem to have been thrown everywhere. Finally, actually looking around the room, she realized where she was. In Sam's room, in their apartment. She was fairly familiar with this room, considering how much time she and Sam spent together. And no, they weren't fucking all the time. Looking down to find her phone, she was shocked even more to see what looked like a female body lying on the bed next to her. Oh God.

_Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home...I need coffee. –Santana _

_Fdjakghrauighrvajkldjsiafraf aw –Trouty Mouth_

_ Get your ass here. I will call you every 5 minutes until you get here. –Santana_

The body next to her began to stir, eventually turning over. It was Rachel. She and Rachel were lying naked next to each other in Sam's bed. What happened last night?

The knock on the door both woke up Rachel and scared the shit out of Santana.

"Washapning…" Rachel mumbled, stretching out. Santana's eyes, of course, were zeroed on one specific location. The knocking repeated.

Santana groaned, but then got up and walked to the door. She opened it just a crack and peered around it, only to see Sam. He was wearing what looked like her bra around his neck and a pair of bright gold, very skimpy shorts.

"Do you know what happened last night?" Sam questioned her wearily, "And are you naked?"

"Fuck it, Sam, no shit I'm naked. Clothes don't stay on me when I'm drunk," Santana retorted.

"Can you just let me into MY room?" he pleaded, taking the bra off his neck and handing it to her.

"No, Rachel's in here," Santana said, holding the door firmly.

"Santana, where are my clothes," Rachel called. Santana face-palmed and Sam's eyes widened.

"Okay, I see why you don't want me in there," Sam backed away from the door. Naked Rachel seen by anyone else would equal a very pissed off, incredibly jealous Puckerman.

"Santana?" Rachel called again, "Who's at the door?"

Sam's eyes widened even more, making Santana laugh. Dude looked so much like a fish right now. Eyes bugging out and his big lips.

"It's Sam, but you aren't coming to the door until you've got clothes on. None of us want to deal with jealous Puckerman," Santana said back to her.

"Well, why are you talking to him? You're naked too," Rachel grumbled.

"Trouty Mouth has already seen me naked, multiple times. It's no big deal," Santana said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, I think I found Noah's shirt from last night!" Rachel said jubilantly, "I'm putting it on, so now you can open the door or whatever,"

"Okay, fine," Santana said, "But why was Puck's shirt in here?"

Suddenly, the loud music of 'Whistle' by Flo Rida filled the room, interrupting the conversation.

"My phone!" Sam cried, running into the room and searching frantically for it. He finally found it in one of Santana's boots, but by this time the music had stopped. The screen was lit up with a text message. Sam opened it to see a message from Mike.

_I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share your drink. –Mike_

Sam laughed, remembering that, then replied to Mike.

_I cared about my drink far more that her feelings. -Sam_

"Who was it?" Rachel asked, "Was it Noah?"

"Nah, it was Mike bitching about something that happened last night. Some drunk chick started grinding on me and I ignored her. I didn't want to share my drink!" Sam explained to the two girls. Rachel wrinkled her nose slightly and Santana started laughing.

"Where's Noah, anyways?" Rachel questioned, looking around the room for her missing boyfriend.

"I remember him and Mike dancing on stage, and then its nothing," Sam said slowly, "Maybe ask Mike?"

"Text him, asshat," Santana said as if it was obvious.

_Hey, do you know where Puckerman is? –Sam_

"Okay, I texted him, now why don't you two get some proper clothes on, 'cause I'm getting real distracted with Santana over there naked," Sam leered, winking at the Latina.

"Oh, you know you like it Trouty Mouth, but just to save your innocence, Rach and I will go," Santana smirked, taking Rachel's hand and walking out of the room.

Sam's phone buzzed, presumably because Mike had texted back.

_Yeah, he's passed out on the floor of my living room. You should've heard what drunk Puck was saying, bro, funniest shit ever. –Mike _

_ Thanks bro, Rachel was worrying. Oh, but how did his shirt get here? –Sam_

_ He took it off while stripping on the stage and gave it to Rachel. –Mike _

_ I don't even know how to respond to that. Dear Jesus. –Sam_

_ Oh, he's waking up. We'll be right over as soon as he's human again. I'm alright, I've been downing coffee for the last hour. –Mike_

_ Alright dude, see you. –Sam_

"Rachel, Puck is at Mike's place! They'll be here soon!" Sam yelled through the door so that Rachel would hear him.

Meanwhile, Rachel and Santana were putting their clothes on in Rachel and Puck's room. Both just had on leggings and big shirts. Rachel had on one of Puck's band shirts and Santana had on one of Sam's "nerd" shirts.

Suddenly, they heard a buzzing from a phone lying on the bed. Rachel had left her phone at the apartment the previous night because she had a bad record of losing her phone.

_Was that you I saw riding on top of a cab? Way to start the New Year. -Quinn_

"So apparently I was cab-riding?" Rachel said, bemused. She looked at Santana, eyebrow raised, "You wouldn't know anything about this would you?"

"Maybe…" Santana grinned sheepishly, "We were on the way back and you wanted to ride on top, so I helped you out and hung onto your ankle so you didn't kill yourself"

"It was the tequila wasn't it?" Rachel groaned, "Nothing good ever happens with tequila"

It was here that they heard Sam's shout. The two girls, relieved that they had found Puck, walked out to the kitchen to make coffee for their hangovers.

Sam soon joined them, now wearing a pair of jeans and a tshirt with writing on it in Na'vi.

"Puck's alive guys, he just texted me!" Sam announced.

_Why does my jaw hurt? –Puck_

_I may have punched you. –Sam_

"You punched him?" Santana laughed, "How are you not in pain right now? And why did you punch him?"

"Well, apparently he was stripping last night, so he started trying to give people lap dances. I was one of them," Sam explained, "I guess I punched him. He just fell over, then got up and started dancing again,"

"That sounds like the Puck we all know," Santana grinned. Right then was when there was a knock on the door.

"Open up you fuckers," they heard through the door. It was Mike's voice.

"Noah!" Rachel gasped, running to the door and opening it. Mike and Puck were standing in the doorway, one looking much better than the other.

"Rachel, thank Jesus," Puck groaned. He hugged her tightly, then released her, still keeping an arm around her.

"Ah, Puckleberry is reunited. All is good with the world," Santana teased.

"Shut up Satan," Puck shot back, but he was smiling, so she knew that he wasn't mad. He pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek, grinning when she turned around. Then he took the opportunity to kiss her properly, on the lips, this time. Santana and Sam grinned at the two. They really were the most adorable couple. The badass and the good girl.

"Puck! Rachel!" the kissing couple broke apart.

"Thank you for not swallowing her face," Santana smirked, "But now that you two are done, can someone make me breakfast? I needs to eat,"

"Okay, San, I'll make pancakes for everyone. Why don't you call Quinn and the rest?" Rachel answered. She pulled out of Puck's arms, making a slightly disappointed face at leaving his arms, and began walking towards the kitchen. Everyone else followed her. Santana, hungry for pancakes and licking her lips, was right on Rachel's heels.

"Santana! Stop stepping on my heels!" Rachel turned around and exclaimed, "Why don't you call Quinn, Artie, Brittany and Matt? Tell them to come over for breakfast"

"Fine, "Santana grumbled, "But if they eat all my pancakes, I will go all Lima Heights on their ass!" but she pulled out her phone and began calling.

**And chapter 5 is finished! BTW I've decided to mark this story as complete, although there WILL be more chapters. I just feel like since there really isn't a plot that's carried over into each chapter, it isn't "incomplete". Again, not to sound like I'm begging, but please, pretty please review! It always makes my day better to see that someone reviewed!**

**Prompts Used:**

**Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home...I need coffee. (613)**

**I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share your drink. (507) –I cared about my drink far more that her feelings (815)**

**Was that you I saw riding on top of a cab? Way to start the new year. (414)**

**Why does my jaw hurt? (303). –I may have punched you. (402)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6! Now that I'm done stating the obvious...the response to this story has been great! I love writing this actually, so just keep expecting chapters :) although, they might not be as frequent 'cause I'm kinda in deep trouble. I may or may not be failing one, or two, or three classes and the 'rents aren't happy. BUT FOR YOU, MY FANS, I WILL SURVIVE!**

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine.**

"NODDING MY HEAD LIKE YEAH, MOVING MY HIPS LIKE YEAH, IT'S A PARTY IN THE USA," Santana screamed. She was the only one home, so she could do crazy things like blast Miley Cyrus loudly and sing along while dancing through the house in her panties and one of Sam's old shirts. She'd also had a couple cups of coffee while studying, so...she was pretty hyper.

"What the"

"Actual fuck" two voices said. Santana, in mid-body roll, turned to see Puck and Sam standing in the doorway of the apartment, jaws dropped.

"Wow, can you guys pretend you didn't see that?" Santana said, surprised to see them there, "Besides, what the hell are you doing here? Don't you have work?"

"Quinn told us to go home because we were exhausted," Puck explained, "She also said something about spending time with everyone,"

"That last part would be because I told her that we hadn't spent any time together since January, and it's now mid-February," Santana piped up.

"So you missed me," Sam leered, "Is that why you're wearing my shirt? "No, I'm wearing it because it's warm, so there!" Santana replied, sticking her tongue out at the blonde. It was then that Rachel walked into the room, and saw her housemates.

"Oh my gosh, are we all here at the same time?" she gasped. She felt like she hadn't seen Sam or Santana in weeks. Of course, she shared a room with Puck, so she saw him, but not that much of the time.

"Yeah, Quinn bullied Puck and I into leaving," Sam explained, "Santana was just here dancing around half-naked"

"Shut up Trouty Mouth," the aforementioned Latina snapped.

"Okay, that's weird, because Quinn bullied me into calling in sick to rehearsal. She said that you guys missed me," Rachel said, eyes narrowing as she realized what her blonde best friend had done.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray," Santana hissed, coming to the same conclusion as Rachel had, "You are so dead, once I finish spending time with these putas,"

"Well, we kinda have to thank her. We haven't spent any time together," Puck said, pulling Rachel into his side and pecking her on the temple.

"So, what should we do, you know, now that we're all in the same place and probably not allowed out for at least a day" Sam asked, looking around at his friends.

"Let's play games! Never Have I Ever!" Santana yelled. Everyone looked around with that.

Puck shrugged, "I'm fine with that. We all know that Satan's gonna lose anyways"

"I'm down with that," Sam agreed.

"Alright, but I'm probably winning, just so you know," Rachel said, smiling innocently. Everyone knew it was fake though.

"And what makes you say that Berry?" Santana growled, glaring at her adopted sister.

"Oh please, between the four of us, I'm guaranteed to have done the least stuff," Rachel said confidently.

"Well, famous last words. Let's start!" Sam announced, "I'll get the shot glasses. Tequila or vodka?"

"Vodka!" Rachel cried.

"Tequila," Santana stated, "And you better get it if you ever want this" she gestured at her body, "again"

Sam gulped, "Tequila it is," and he went off to get it.

Once he came back with the shot glasses and the tequila, the four sat down in a circle on the floor, each with a shot glass in front of them and the bottle in the middle.

"Who goes first?" Sam asked, looking around.

"Me!" Santana yelled first, "Never have I ever…judged a contest of who had the biggest balls!"

Rachel angrily took a shot, "You bitch! You weren't supposed to talk about that!"

Puck and Sam turned to stare at Rachel, "The fuck?"

"Remember the Thanksgiving party we went to at Mike's house?" Rachel said, Puck and Sam nodded in agreement, "Well, you two had left early and didn't come back. You were so lucky you didn't go back to mikes house. They decided tofigure out who had the biggest balls…I was the judge"

Puck and Sam began laughing, along with Santana who had been laughing the whole time. Rachel frowned.

"My turn! Never have I ever…made someone cry when breaking up with them," Rachel smirked. Santana and Sam both took shots.

"Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world. What the actual fuck," Santana cried, referencing the time.

"Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician," Rachel said unsympathetically.

"Sam?" Puck said, looking at his bro.

"This one crazy chick I had been dating for like a week. I had just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome," Sam chuckled, remembering. The girl had been crazy, and they had only been dating for a week before the threesome.

"Okay, now my turn!" Puck called, "Never have I ever… had gay sex" he grinned triumphantly, but his grin faded when Santana AND Rachel took shots.

"What, Rachel, when?" he asked, astonished.

"It was only one time, and it was when we were on a break," Rachel said sheepishly, "But it was Santana, so don't be super mad," she smiled at him.

Puck groaned, then looked at Sam, "Did you know about this?"

"Actually, I did," Sam admitted, "I did think you knew though. I remember texting someone saying, 'they're having lesbian sex while I play super Mario world. I hope they like the music' it might've been Kurt"

Santana laughed at the look on Puck's face, "Don't worry bro. Your girl and I got our mack on once, nothing after that, although,"

Santana stopped talking when Rachel smacked her on the arm.

"Passing over that, it's my turn now," Sam chuckled evilly, "Never have I ever… had sex in any room at the club," he grinned when Santana, Puck and Rachel took shots.

"That's it Trouty Mouth, Aunty Tana's gonna get you," Santana growled, "Never have I ever dyed my hair"

Sam took a shot before glaring at Santana, who innocently smiled back. Puck and Rachel were busy laughing their asses off.

Rachel went next, "Never have I ever had whipped cream and condoms stolen," she and Puck shared an absolutely filthy look as Santana grudgingly took a shot.

"Jesus, I leave you two alone for 45 minutes and all my whipped cream and condoms are gone!" Santana yelled, "I'm still mad about that! I had plans for that whipped cream!"

"Okay, enough Satan, calm your tits," Puck said, laughing, "it's my turn. Never have I ever…given a guy a blowjob"

Santana and Rachel both took shots, glaring at Puck.

"That was the worst I've ever heard. Seriously?" Santana grumbled.

"Fine, Noah, if that's how you want to play it, never have I ever played a guitar," Rachel smirked when Puck and Sam took shots, glaring at her.

"See, I can say obvious things too," Rachel grinned at the two.

"That's my girl!" Santana yelled, high-fiving Rachel.

"Random fact of the day, do you guys realize that everyone here has made out with Santana," Sam said wonderingly. Puck's face darkened, he was glaring at Sam.

And then he punched Sam in the stomach. Thankfully it wasn't very hard. Kind of. Sam just gasped a lot while Santana laughed and Rachel scolded Puck for "using unnecessary violence"

When Sam finally got his breath back, he glared at Puck, "What the fuck was that for asshole?"

"Just because," Puck grinned at Sam, who kept glaring at him.

"Moving on, I'm starting to think this game wasn't the best idea," Santana said, looking around

"Bitch please, you're only saying that because you're losing,"" Rachel told her best friend.

"I really don't give a shit, I just don't want Puckerman to kill the guy that gives me orgasms," Santana stated bluntly.

"Good point, orgasms are fun," Rachel said, laughing, "Let's go watch a movie then"

"That's a good idea, do you have any suggestions?" Santana asked her, "And no, before you say anything, we aren't watching anything even remotely musical. That means no 'Funny Girl'"

"Dammit San!" Rachel cried, "I wasn't even gonna say that! I was going to suggest watching," she whispered something in Santana's ear, making the taller girl grin mischievously. The girls got up quietly and snuck away, the two guys who were busy bickering about something (and punching each other) not noticing.

When the music started, Sam's head popped up, somewhat like a squirrel or a chipmunk. He knew that music.

"You're watching Avatar!" he screamed, running into the family room. He quickly jumped onto the couch next to Santana, who promptly put her feet up on his lap.

Puck grudgingly followed his best friend, slumping down onto the couch next to his girlfriend, putting his arm around her.

"I guess we're watching Avatar. Joy," he grumbled. Sam looked incredibly gleeful.

**HAHA, couldn't resist that last one :P and expect the next chapter soonish. Hopefully by the end of this week *crosses fingers**

**Prompts Used:**

**You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls…I was the judge (208)**

**Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. –Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. (951)**

**Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome. (732)**

**They're having lesbian sex while I play super Mario world. I hope they like the music. (787)**

**I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE (206)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SUPER LATE GUYS! Hella shit's been going on in my life and writing's been hard lately, but that's no excuse. This is the story I update the fastest and there's no excuse for not writing like a 2,000 word chapter. Again, I'm really sorry and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine.**

"Jesus, how long does it take for them to get ready?" Sam groaned. He and Puck had been waiting for the girls for what seemed like hours.

"It's been thirty minutes dude, calm your shit," Puck said, punching Sam in the arm. In a friendly manner of course.

"Okay, was the punch necessary?" Sam groaned, rubbing the spot on his arm. Puck just grinned at him, "Asshole," Sam muttered.

"You love me Biebs, don't deny it," Puck smirked at his best friend.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "You turning gay now Puckerman? Rach ain't gonna be happy"

"Rachel won't be happy about what?" the two heard Rachel's voice demand. They both turned from facing each other and saw the girls.

Then jaws dropped.

Santana was wearing a short, very fitted dark red dress with rhinestones sprinkled all over it. When she turned, you could see that almost the entire back was a panel of red lace. Her hair was straightened and she had smoky eye makeup with red lipstick. She was wearing 4" wedge heels that matched her dress.

Rachel was standing next to her, wearing possible the tiniest skirt known to man. It was red leather too. Her top was a tight, black lace tank top. Her hair was curled messily and she also had smoky eye makeup. Her shoes were 6" stilettos that were sparkly red. Santana called them her 'Dorothy hooker heels'

"Close your mouths fuckers. Rae and I know how hot we look," Santana called, laughing at the look on the guys' faces.

"Damn, baby, you're fucking hot," Puck leered, standing up and going to hug Rachel.

"So we really have to go to Tubber's bachelorette party? Are you sure there won't be strippers there?" Santana complained, leaning on Sam.

"Santana, who organized the party?" Rachel asked gently.

"Brit," Santana grumbled.

"If there are gonna be any strippers, they're gonna be, like, ducks or cats or something Brittany-ish," Rachel said, chuckling at Santana's devastated face.

"If you really want strippers," Sam laughed, "I suppose White Chocolate can make another appearance, " he leered at Santana while doing one of his signature body rolls.

"That's it!" Santana exclaimed, "Let's bring along Trouty Mouth! That way I gets my man candy and Q can have the full bridal experience!"

"You don't think Quinn is gonna be weird about it?" Rachel asked doubtfully.

"We surprise her! Oh, and let's get Puck in on it as well! Dress them up all stripper-like and then parade them out once she's drunk. She'll never figure it out," Santana planned.

Sam looked gleeful while Puck groaned.

"I'm gonna have to do this aren't i?" he looked at Rachel, who beamed at him, "You guys are fuckers"

Sam, Santana and Rachel simply grinned at him.

Now, the girls were at the club they had chosen for Quinn's bachelorette party. The music was thumping and all the girls were dancing. They were all wearing outfits similar to Santana's and Rachel's.

After a couple hours and more than a couple drinks, Santana and Rachel led all of the girls to the back room of the club that they had borrowed for the guys.

"Wus goin' on?" Quinn slurred. Rachel, who hadn't drunk very much, shushed her and led her to a chair, gently pushing her down.

'Sexy And I Know It' by LMFAO started and Sam and Puck burst out of the doors and strode into the room. Sam was dressed like a cop and Puck was dressed like a firefighter. Of course, both were missing essential things. Like shirts.

They both had amazing abs, but the rest of their bodies were pretty awesome too.

When the refrain of the song started, Sam and Puck whipped off their outfits, revealing their boxers. They weren't wearing anything else.

All the girls were cheering and wolf-whistling. Like Santana predicted, they were too drunk to recognize the two guys.

Then, Sam moved towards the sitting Quinn. He began giving her a lap dance to all the other girls' cheers.

"That wasn't planned," Santana mentioned, looking at the two blondes. Sam was dancing like a stripper and Quinn was definitely enjoying it.

She looked over at Rachel and saw her and Puck grinding.

"Oh dear Jesus," she groaned to herself, "I'm going back out into the club"

And she did so, dancing with random women and men. She didn't really care, as long as they were her type.

In the morning, she woke up in a random house. Looking over at the person lying in bed, she quickly decided to get the hell out of there. She had no idea who the chick was.

Grabbing her shoes, she pulled her dress on and looked for her purse. Once she found it, she hightailed it out of the house. She stopped by in a Starbucks to do an emergency fix and get some coffee.

She pulled out her phone once she had her latte and bagel and was sitting at a table. There were two messages, one from Rachel and one from Sam.

_Just in case you come home really late, there's coffee in the pot and pancakes in the fridge. Noah and I are going out for the day. –Rae_

_ I'm hiding in your closet. Come home soon. –Trouty Mouth_

Santana laughed seeing Sam's text. She decided to hurry up. If Sam ruined any of her clothes, she'd cut a bitch.

_Okay, thanks Rae, I'm at Starbucks now. I'll text when I get back. –Tana_

She walked out of the Starbucks, on her way home. Once she reached their apartment, she carefully unlocked and opened the door. She knew from experience that a frightened Sam was a dangerous one. Puck had almost gotten a concussion after scaring Sam when they had just finished a scary movie marathon. Sam was hiding in his room when Puck leapt in and yelled. Sam had happened to have been holding a baseball bat, and promptly swung at Puck unknowingly.

That resulted in all baseball bats being taken away (Rachel's fault, Santana had been busy laughing her ass off. Okay maybe she worried a little).

"Sammy? Where are you?" Santana called gently, not wanting to scare him and get a concussion. Almost immediately, her phone buzzed.

_In your closet. Did you see anyone by the door? Was there a short brunette chick with a creepy smile? - Trouty Mouth _

"No Sammy, I didn't see anyone. It's just me, you can come out now," Santana said loudly. Soon, Sam emerged from her room. He was shirtless and looked very disheveled. He also had a look of sheer terror that she hadn't seen since the one time he and Puck fought and Puck threatened to burn the copy of Avatar autographed by James Cameron.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Santana asked, struggling to hold back her laughter.

"Don't be mean! There was this super scary chick last night, and I barely managed to escape her apartment!" Sam cried. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"You were scared….by a chick?" she questioned in disbelief.

"Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN!" Sam screamed. Santana turned white.

"Oh dear Jesus, that's pretty scary. Why don't we just go into the kitchen then? Away from the front door…" she trailed off, leading Sam to the kitchen where she made them both mugs of coffee, which they then took into Sam's room.

Santana stopped briefly in her room to take off her leftover makeup and change into a pair of shorts and an old McKinley football tee.

She walked into Sam's room, where he already had the TV turned on to Big Bang Theory reruns. The show was their post-party tradition.

"Is that my shirt?" Sam asked once he saw her, "I think you have more of my clothes than I do!"

"Huh, maybe it is," Santana laughed, "Why, do you want it back?"

"You know what, I think I do want it back. Right now," Sam grinned at her. Santana laughed at him.

"Well too bad! It's mine now," she said, clutching it to her body, "Let's just sit and watch the show, dumbass"

Suddenly her phone buzzed. Checking it, she saw a text from Brittany.

_I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. –Britt_

_ NICE. Who was it? –Sanny_

_ Paul, from school. You don't know him. –Britt_

_ Well, I'm proud of you. –Sanny_

"Who was it?" Sam asked, wondering what had made Santana roll on the floor laughing.

"Apparently some guy from Juilliard, his girlfriend is bi, tried to talk Brittany into a threesome. Not sure if she said yes or not, but I guess it's a regular occurrence," Santana said, still laughing, "I've taught her well"

"So, you remember anything else from last night?" Sam asked her. She fell back onto the bed.

"I'm not sure. I remember until you started grinding up on Q, by the way why did you do that? And then nothing until waking up this morning," Santana said slowly.

"Wait, hold up. I grinded on Quinn?" Sam asked, dumbfounded, "Jesus, how drunk was I?"

"I don't remember dipshit, I was too busy getting drunk to avoid thinking about how Quinn's getting married," Santana answered.

"Dude, I know. She and Artie are actually getting married. Who would have thought?" Sam said, "Oh, and what did the person you fucked last night look like?"

"Oh my God! I swear, she was so fugly," Santana groaned, remembering the girl this morning, "Just acne, like everywhere. She's a freaking adult, there's meds and shit for that. All she had to do was wash her face, but NO! and I understand that acne is a legit problem, but this chick was like, oh my God, seriously, there are ways to fix that!" she ranted.

"Aside from your strange rant, then don't go home with her if she's ugly! Besides, I thought you were into guys this week. Or that's what you said when checking out that guy in class the other day," Sam exclaimed as if it was common sense. Which it kinda was.

"Yeah tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference," Santana remarked.

"Oh, my bad!" Sam cried, "Wait, where are Puck and Rachel?"

"So you finally remembered? Way to think of your best friends Samuel. Anyways, she and Puck went off somewhere, she didn't tell me," Santana laughed.

"Well. I think we all know what they're doing," Sam suggested, waggling their eyebrows.

Santana started laughing, almost falling off the bed.

"God, shopping for Quinn's wedding present was so hard," Sam groaned. Santana sat up, having recovered.

"Yeah I know! Even though I've known her forever," Santana grumbled, "Also, I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present"

"Nice!" Sam said sarcastically, "Five bucks says it's Rachel and Puck!"

"Nope, it's gonna be Matt and his girlfriend. And you're on Trouty Mouth!" Santana retorted.

"Fine," Sam replied, "Winner gets 5 bucks and unlimited sex for a week"

"Fine," Santana said firmly, shaking Sam's outstretched hand.

"Now, let's watch. This is a good episode," Sam said, turning back to the TV.

**The end :) And (this is me shamelessly promoting my other stories) you guys should go check out the prequel to this story! It's called "How It All Began" and it's way more sad than this, but there are some funny parts. It's also got some things that are different from this, but that's because I was too lazy to keep small details consistent :P**

**Prompts Used:**

**Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN. (415)**

**I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. (505)**

**Yeah tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. (662)**

**Also, I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. (617)**


End file.
